Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
