no, he came in my armpit
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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