Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
