I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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