Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
