You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
