i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
