I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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