You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize