you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
