sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
