the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
