Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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