Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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