are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
