yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
