just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
