And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Randomize
