Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
