RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize