hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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