I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
