I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize