dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize