I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
