No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
