So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
