their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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