tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
