doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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