I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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