To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
