he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
