Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize