I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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