he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you will always have a special place in my vag
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize