i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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