you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
