Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
