I smell stomach acid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
