Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
