It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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