we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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