What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
