so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
