i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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