i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
