everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
