I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
