It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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