Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
