Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
