Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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