No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
