What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
