ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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