i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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