Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
