I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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