Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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