He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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