i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
