You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
