That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
