We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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