You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
