I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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