When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
