You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
