...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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