would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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