I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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