Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
