Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
