I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
