yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
