we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
