It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize