Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
