i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
