I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
