Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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