you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
