We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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